I am over Summer Break.
Dear God...I believe, if I start a post off like my favorite author, Alice Walker, it would somehow seem more profound...
Dear God, I saw the school bus drive by today! You know what that means? No, school still hasn't started for us lucky enough to live in Northern New York. The bus drivers were doing their practice runs. I ran outside with excitement! I wanted to get a glimpse of the bus driver. It may not matter to you, who your child's school bus driver is, but my son Junior, has Autism and meeting a new person can literally be hell on our entire family and his school. "Ms. Sandy, thank God" I yelled, as she stopped in front of my house. My eyes filled with tears, I am over summer break.
After the summer we've had, I cannot deal with any more changes. Being a military family is already difficult. Changes are a part of our daily routine. But with Junior, changes aren't as instant as we'd like them to be. It often takes months for him to be comfortable in a new routine. Yesterday, we had open house at the school. A chance to meet our new teachers, and help our children get familiar with their new classroom. How was it, you ask? It was a disaster. We arrived about 30 minutes early, in hopes of being the first ones there so Junior would get a chance to interact with his teacher, before it became over stimulating. We were told we needed to wait. As the school filled with running children, yelling moms, and crying babies, Junior began to unravel. By the time we walked in the classroom, Junior crossed over into a full blown meltdown. I expected it, but I didn't expect him to spit, kick, and punch.
As the summer break comes to a close, I am grateful my husband was able to experience the excitement of it all. I am over summer break, too many inconsistencies. We need routine, structure, and above all, peace. I love my children, Lord knows I do. But I am ready to return to functioning as a normal human, with therapy for my son only once per day, five days a week, not three times per day, five days per week. I am ready to drink my coffee in peace. Work in silence and have adult conversations without including the phrases, "please don't, no touching, and leave him alone".
I am ready for hot showers and clean clothes, brunch dates and pretty toes. Iced Coffees and funny jokes, surprise lunches and love notes. Please forgive me, when I say, I want summer break to end today!